This could be a metaphor …then again it could be your actual life! Either way, it’s the fourth instalment of the series Loving Unafraid and you’re going to want to pay attention!
The first marriage adds 1/2 and 1/2 to make One The second marriage adds one + one to make Three.
Ok, I’m going to explain that.
The first marriage is an arrangement of practicalities…you make the money and take out the garbage; I’ll make the babies and maybe dinner..if you’re lucky. It doesn’t take the full person into account.
The second marriage is one FULL person, including her/his work, relationships and self-care coming together with another FULL person with all his/her relationships, work and self-care. This adds up to Three…meaning there’s now more than two people involved …there’s a new entity called WE.
The first marriage is often about Survival …both people scrambling to get through the daily challenges of life..making money, taking care of kids…leaving little time for nourishing the Self, often leading to resentment because each person feels unfinished, under-nourished and unrooted. Think of Romeo and Juliet…full of love and good intentions, but hung up with under-developed selves. They didn’t even get to the kids and they still couldn’t survive:)
The second marriage is about Thrival…two people facing each other with love and leaving space for their individual self-care, their individual relationships and their individual work ( both practical and life work) Each person has space to find their own purpose and live that purpose with mutual support and respect. Think of the Obamas…aaah! They make us smile just to think of them. They each have their own full lives and they have come together to create something more…a coupling , a coming together that inspires us.
That’s Loving Unafraid.