Micheal Talbot-Kelly (MTK) takes a holistic approach and blends it with the wisdom of storytelling. His approach spans across psychology, physiology, neuroscience and mindfulness.
#101-1529 West 6th Avenue, Vancouver, BC V6J 1R1
Email: [email protected]
Phone: 604-317-1613
Greetings Friends,
Over the past 30 years I have seen thousands of clients who have come to me knowing that there is something larger in life that they must do; that there is a deeper call but they don’t know how to respond to it.
If this sounds like you and you’ve found yourself here by recommendation or synchronicity, I invite you to print off this letter (it is long), pour yourself a hot cup of tea or coffee and take 20 minutes to read it through.
I promise that, whether or not you sign up for anything I have to offer, you will be better off for it and a step closer to a more meaningful life — just for having read it.
I’d like to share with you the most important ideas I’ve gathered about crafting a meaningful life over the past 30 + years of working with thousands of people.
The people I’ve worked with, have tended to arrive in one of the three places:
And any of these crises can show up in any one of the three areas of life:
And overall they tell me, “I wake up in the morning and… I just can’t buy into this bullshit anymore. This mediocre and comfortable, boring life is killing me. I am in a real struggle to make sense of my life but I have no orientation now – it’s like my inner GPS is broken.”
Many of them confess things to me like this, “I was in a yoga class with my wife and I couldn’t stop beating myself up in my mind or judging everyone else in the class. What’s wrong with me? When did I become so bitter and cynical?”
Many people have come to live in what I call ‘the constant crisis’. It never ends. And it begins to wear down even the strongest.
Many clients have told me that the money or their ‘perfect life’ ( the nice house, car and lifestyle ) and the ordinary world feels so empty to them. It is no longer deep enough for them to live on for the rest of their lives.
From the outside: They’ve done everything right. They eat healthy enough. They’re doing work that is ok but, in truth, they have fallen into it and it pays the bills, provides for their lifestyle. Perhaps they love their partner. Perhaps they set goals and achieve them. Maybe they even have some of the trappings of success.
From the inside: They are lost in a strange land with no map, no compass and no understanding of where they are or how they got there.
Either there was a shift on the inside or there was a dramatic shift on the outside – like a car accident, a cancer diagnosis, bankruptcy, divorce, or a series of unfortunate events took place within a short period of time.
But something has changed forever.
Something is irretrievably different. After a lifetime of Type A or Type B success and creating the life they thought they always wanted, they feel like they’re cracking up and about to lose control and watch it all fall apart.
They’re not sure they can stop it.
They’re not sure they want to.
They feel like Edward Norton’s character at the beginning of Fight Club—a part of them just wants to blow up their perfect, normal, ‘successful’ life.
Their career? They want to walk away.
Their romantic relationships? They want to walk away.
Their family? They want to walk away.
Their community? They want to walk away.
Somehow, despite ‘making it’ – or surviving in comfort-Ville – they find themselves with this nagging feeling that they are starting to live a very inauthentic life and the pretence is becoming too much. Their to-do list can’t seem to fix this rumbling on the inside that they are secretly, at some very deep level they can’t seem to touch, failing.
They look at their life plan and their goals and they just don’t give a shit about any of it anymore. And that unsettles them.
Their ambition and mojo is gone. The wind has gone out of their sails.
Their relationships have begun to suffer as they retreat into their shells, become isolated, self-medicate and become less and less present.
They are coming to understand that perhaps there is a deeper version of themselves that they don’t really know how to access, but this means letting go of the grip of control they have built in their life to date.
On good days, they are curious about this. On bad days, it scares the shit out of them and they feel like they are at the end of their rope, dying.
They think that if they are going to step into a meaningful life, they have to burn down their old life—the bridge and the matches. They can’t imagine …yet…that it might be possible to re-design their life to have the best of both worlds – responsibilities and freedom.
They need to move from the territory of contradiction across the bridge to the territory of paradox.
What do I mean by that?
I mean that seeing the world in a black/white, either/or fashion is something we must outgrow. At a certain developmental stage, the soul wants us to hold sun and moon, male and female, the inner and outer forces of nature, responsibilities and freedom.
But, as it is, their confidence begins to crater. Depression and anxiety appear and pull them down like quicksand. Some of them report unsettling dreams and nightmares.
They are struggling and they are hiding the struggle.
If they admit the struggle, they feel like a failure. If they hide it, they feel like a fraud.
They’re damned if they do and damned if they don’t.
They want a Meaningful Life but they don’t know how to create it.
Below is my philosophy and research behind what meaningful lives share and what the MLD mentorships are really about.
There are 3 main domains in life: self, relationship and work. Think about these 3 domains this way:
And when we have these 3 features in each of these 3 domains – we live into our Aliveness, Love and Fulfillment as we journey through life.
Meaning is also animated through leaning into the joy and the sorrow of life’s triumphs and tribulations as we discover, gather and make ourselves into meaningful shapes, textures, tones and rhythms.
“I don’t believe people are looking for the meaning of life as much as they are looking for the experience of being alive”
~Joseph Campbell
As we fully participate in these meaning-making, “up and down” challenges and opportunities in our lives, we rediscover and even mobilize who we really ARE – as Joseph Campbell suggests.
The grit, strengthening and fierce-gentleness that are the by-products of our meaning-making activities – facing fears/dragons, learning to love unafraid, delivering hard-won entrepreneurship, beauty, art, medicine, treasures to our local/global Villages – provide the very food and deep sustenance needed to bring us to life and inspire our relationships, community and the world.
“When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy. When actions come from another section, the feeling disappears” Rumi
By bringing the best of you to all that you do, to your relationships, to your work by befriending all of what life is throwing at you – the good, the bad, the ugly – you fully deepen the experience of meaning in your life.
Meaning is also inextricably tied in with authenticity, authority and authorship [authoring your own meaningful life] that is the gift of who we are. We also have natural gifts of leadership, hospitality, medicine, for instance.
“This is the true joy in life: the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one”
~George Bernard Shaw
All of us are built for something – something we deem as mighty – something dripping with meaning, warmth, purpose.
A genuine life of meaningful fulfillment is possible through opening up space, being curious and whole-hearted about how we are drawn to and respond with the various activities of life.
“Find a place where there is joy, and the joy will burn out the pain”
~Joseph Campbell
You have a capacity for meaning, but you need to lean into a process that awakens, activates and mobilizes your joy.
This is what the MLD mentorship program is designed for: to mobilize the organizing power of the meaning, joy and fulfillment that you are built for.
“When you follow your joy, bliss … doors will open where you would not have thought there were going to be doors”
~Joseph Campbell
If you resonate with the above, I’d like to suggest that there are three underlying reasons for your suffering and struggle.
Over the years, I’ve worked with clients to help them turn these crises into opportunities to access their deepest desires—to live a sustainable and meaningful life. We use these challenges to create a life where they can bring their particular kind of gifts to their families and communities.
A crisis can often be a powerful opportunity and turning point in their lives.
The real problem is threefold.
This puts us firmly into self-pity, resentment and victimhood.
And yet, what I’ve found is that our worst symptoms are often our most powerful teachers.
There’s something that even your worst symptoms have to show you. And it’s not something you can find when you’re trying to ignore it. The crises in your life might be the most profound opportunity for personal growth you’ve ever experienced.
In other words, the problems that arise from your crisis are also purpose-driven.
“Michael, I just wanted to say thank you for the guidance and love you’ve provided for me ( and my man ) over the years. I’ve been able to grow into a better version of myself because of the work we’ve done together. It’s because of your support that I’m able to handle uncontrolled chaos in a healthy, constructive way. I look forward to continuing the path of pursuing my life’s purpose …
Hugs until the end of time! “
LS, Communications & Marketing Specialist, Vancouver, BC
Many people come to me with symptoms in their bodies [cancer, car accidents, lethargy], in their mind [ stress, anxiety, distorted thinking, addictions ], and in their soul [ from depression to stuckness to suicidal ideation].
What I am suggesting is not that these problems aren’t real but that they are driven by a purpose.
To wake you up and get you back on track o h life that you are suppose to be living
“Fear, discomfort, uncertainty are our compasses – we must let go of the life that we have planned so we can accept the life that is waiting for us”
~Joseph Campbell
These symptoms are the inner/outer “GPS” to remind you to get back on track to what I call ‘freedom mountain’ – the meaningful life of aliveness, connection and work fulfillment
Your symptoms are there to get you to step into your larger self, to mobilize your gifts, to awaken and fully express your genuine joy, intimacy, and prosperity.
Many people come to me confused about how to step into this hero’s/heroine’s journey that they dream of. They know the meaning in their life will come from leaning into this hero/heroine’s journey. They know that they need to risk giving up the old false life of status quo.
Many of them think they’ll get right on that once they’ve sorted out and solved their problems. To say it another way, they think their problems are in the way of their meaning.
I’m suggesting that your most painful symptoms and problems are the way.
They are the accurately designed doorway you need to open Your problems are not the closed door that’s keeping you from having what you want. They are the door that opens to the life you’ve secretly dreaming your whole life
“Learn the alchemy true human beings know The moment you accept what troubles you’ve been given the door with open”
~RUMI
This almost always makes us more problem-saturated, anxious, depressed, bored, stuck, less capable and blind to the real opportunities present.
If you have a crisis, then you probably want to do the responsible thing and ‘solve it’.
But here’s the catch: if your ongoing symptoms and patterns in your life have something to teach you, you can be sure you won’t find the lesson by trying to eliminate your symptoms. The tragedy of the modern day problem solving mania is that there is a small win (eliminating the problem) but a larger, invisible loss – never hearing the message the problem had to give.
What if the point of a crisis wasn’t to simply resolve it?
What if the crisis was trying to point our attention to something bigger than it? What if you didn’t need to solve your problem (or even focus on it) to make things better?
Think about a tree that is infested with bugs. We need not to solely focus on killing the bugs so much as we also need to strengthen the tree through fertilization, pruning, access to more sunlight, and enough water. The healthy, vital tree is not suitable for most bugs and pests. You get the picture.
This is exactly the same with us humans – we need to strengthen our natural resources of courage, grit, natural gifts, resiliences, strengths and our innate wisdom to do what’s right and true for us to resolve our challenges that have come to us in our lives.
“That was one of my favourite hours of my life so far. I signed up for the video and will watch it this evening. I defer to your experience and (obvious) wisdom; whatever you think the program needs to be, count me in! I’ll send through my impressions after watching the video. I am ready for my upgrade and I already feel the energy of it in my body.
Thanks are not enough.
Peter E, Entrepreneur, Dad, Yogi, Vancouver, BC
You are not just a problem to be solved – you are also a Mystery to be embraced
If we don’t focus on the problem and trying to solve it, then what do we focus on?
Here is what I’ve discovered: there are 3 channels of a life lived well, with meaning and fulfillment:
Channel 1: Everyday life. the everyday external life of taking care of ourselves, our relationships and our work. This is also the channel of problem-solving – when we run into a crisis, a challenge, we man/women up and fix it. This channel of life is pretty straight forward – and there is nothing “right” about problems except fixing them.
Channel 2: Your deeper life. This is the deeper, internal mysterious life channel – the channel of love, inspiration, and where boldness has genius, power and magic in it. This is where we need to inquire into our larger life, a meaningful life of aliveness, intimacy and prosperity.
This is also where we ask ourselves: i wonder what’s “right” about this problem? “Why is this same pattern of anger in all of my relationships?” Or “I knew this was going to happen, I saw the red flags before I took the job.” Or, “This heart attack is a wake up call that i need to really get my health and wellness back.”
Channel 3: Your integrated life. This is the place where we honor and respect both channel 1 and channel 2 – and attempt to live paradoxically but fully in both channels – but without a lot of anxiety. A challenge for sure. We need to address the bugs on the tree [ our problems ] AND strengthen the tree [ ourselves ].
There is an invitation to a deeper, more meaningful life of living in both worlds ( channel 1 and 2 ) simultaneously. To live in one of these worlds to the exclusion of the other leads to problems – like a guitar string, if the string is too tight, it breaks; if it’s too loose, there’s no sound at all.
Finding the right tightness, balance and rhythm in the string of your life creates the perfect sound, your sound – and then you never forget your genuine dance of meaning, vitality, intimacy and prosperity that has always been inside you.
That’s channel 3 living
It’s a mature opportunity to respond well, to courageously strengthen ourselves, our relationships and what we do to contribute and make a living.
What if this deeper perspective and connection to your meaningful life of vitality, intimacy and prosperity is not just about your impact on the world? What if it’s actually vital food for you AND the world? What if our problems persist because we are too spiritually/soulfully/vitally malnourished to deal with them?
What if we focused on building our resilience and strength rather than obsessing about eliminating our problems?
What if all of your troubles were there – to help open you up (sometimes through brutal and humbling means) to the greater mystery of life?
To state it differently: When your attention is solely on your problems, it is not on yourself, your heart and the larger mystery of Life – which is the source of your strength, the deeper joy, connection and belonging.
And decades of experience has shown me that, somehow, by focusing on yourself (in a deeper, richer way) results in your courageous self growing so that you become so much larger than any of the problems you might have faced.
“I can’t tell you enough how insightful my time has been with you. Thanks again. Things with my Hut practice are moving along nicely……. again thank you for the inspiration”
AG, Naturopath, Toronto, Ontario
Another way of seeing this is that this is your Hero’s Journey, your doorway to step into a territory of aliveness; to challenge yourself to be present to all of your symptoms, problems, fears; to befriend these resistances, frictions in your life as they have very succinct ways of transforming you into the larger version of yourself.
If you’re like many of the people I’ve met who are facing the fact that you are feeling lethargic, lost, lonely – disconnected from their relationships, their purpose, their vitality – my guess is that you could use a hand.
And if you resonate with these ideas, then I’d love to help.
My Meaningful Life Design My Meaningful Life Design [ MLD ] mentorship package is aimed at inspiring, motivating and training you to take your own next steps towards a meaningful life in relationships, at work, and with yourself.
“Belonging to one and many, feeling harmoniously useful, unity without effort, love undivided and so very sure of yourself and life”
~ Donald Scanlon
Can you imagine living with deeper, meaningful relationships – being seen and heard, having the clarity of understanding what kind of connection, intimacy and relational presence you and your partner are built for – while deliberately creating a beautiful home of belonging that reflects you and your beloved’s relational needs and aesthetic requirements for your thriving relationship?
“We’re so grateful to have you in our lives.
You are an elder/mentor/friend for the ages.
Love your love”
R&L, Entrepreneurs, Vancouver, BC
What about your personal health, wellness, joy? You will come to know that it is possible to awaken and mobilize your body-mind-soul “system” with powerful fulfillment practices that revitalize and connect you to your natural, organic aliveness. And the aim of this dynamic vitality will be to build and sustain a meaningful life of activity and stillness, being independent and in relationship, being in nature and at home, dynamically balancing work and play.
Can you see your “work” now being upgraded and transformed into a more fulfilling role, your deeper “service” to humanity? Imagine yourself expressing your own natural gifts and purposes – aimed towards a meaningful and ultimate concern in the world – or meaningful need on the planet – like environmental re-purposing, or as a mental health advocate, teaching the virtues of quantum physics to high school students.
“What I am noticing is more energy. Much much more and also with more intention. I decided to include the sun salutation series into my morning movement practice in a more flowing way-almost like a dance.
I am feeling my pelvis opening up and becoming ‘unglued’
I am preparing to dance in a freer way.
I am noticing my feelings around being in the place of receiving and owning this prosperous beauty.
It feels brilliant, and I am radiating with energy.
I have also shaken up my relationship with my beloved because that too was feeling rigid and stuck and
not where neither of us want to be.
My partner and I are exploring this and I am so happy to say that we are communicating from a very open and loving place, both wanting the same beauty and
grace in our relationship.
I’m experiencing the sessions as a catalyst to stepping into brilliance in all aspects of my life.”
~GG, Yoga Therapist, Toronto, Ontario
The MLD mentorship package is aimed toward inspiring you to step into your deliberately-designed meaningful life. This training includes the 3 domains of life: vitality [ self-care ], intimacy [ relationships ] and prosperity [ upgrading your work to your service ].
Every week you will be asked to commit to 3 challenges, actions and frameworks that we determine will bring more meaningful purpose, understanding and worthiness to you in each session.
“So live as if you were living already for the second time and as if you had acted the first time as wrongly
as you are about to act now!”
Viktor Frankel
What you will get out of this meaningful life mentorship package will depend on your level of initiative, commitment, sincerity and village/community strategic support [ mentors, allies, elders ] – and the quantity and quality of care, time and attention spent focused on each area of your life
However, each domain of life AND of the mentorship package – self, relationships and career – is intentionally and collaboratively co-designed with you to empower you to live into the following goals AND aspirational values:
“Hi michael,
thank you so much for following up with me
and keeping me on track
I’m noticing the oscillation between living from the place of grace and moving back into fear. However, when i notice that i am moving from that place i have been stopping and going into my heart to make decisions.
It’s one step at a time in this dance. Thank you again for your love and support”
~ MP, Ayurvedic Doctor, Ontario
Imagine three 1-on-1 sessions per month [ 55 minutes per session ] with 45 – 90 minutes per week to fulfill your 3 assignments in between sessions.
The MLD mentorship program commitment and focus is for those individuals that know that timing is everything and they need a serious upgrade to their life, their body/mind/heart System, their relationships and work.
They need an experienced mentor to see and strategically rally around the wholeness AND challenges that they are now willing to lean into and tackle once and for all.
The focus is on everything they see/hear/sense/smell/taste and instinctively KNOW that is somehow genuinely connecting and meaningful for them – and then beginning to stitch that together into a coherent whole in their everyday lives.
Meaning Mentoring – think holistic psychotherapy + prosperity coaching – is all about challenging you to bring way more of the Mystery of who you are – more nobility of soul, gifts, strength, joy, dreams, grit, warmth, Beauty/Cargo and fierce gentleness – to your life and relationships.
Simultaneously, there is an invitation to boldly cut, step out of and unhook any of the old stories of abandoning “self and others” through resentments, negative compulsions, anxieties, moods, angers, destructive patterns, over or underwhelm, perfectionism, saggy energies, mediocrity, trauma bonds, various addictions, relationship stuckness, career status quo [ comfort-ville ] or meaninglessness.
“Hi Michael! I wanted to reach out and thank you for your contribution to the amazing changes in my life. In just few short sessions you were able to show me how to fully step into my Queen energy and create from that powerful space. I’ve been practicing it more and more and see how not only the external world changes around, me, but also how my inner world becomes more accepting, authentic and confident. I’m finally able to support myself and it has nothing to do with money, it has all to do with being myself, accepting myself and living in the present. Amazing shifts are happening and I look forward to reconnecting with you in the new chapter of my life”
PS. Entrepreneur, Russia/Canada
“Things are happening Michael!
I’ve been taking huge mental strides and I’m feeling like it’s benefiting!
Work, relationships, my own self love, trusting my intuition, giving myself a life and the support that I feel I need. Thanks for your support ????????”
MB, HR Manager, Australia
Because we all make decisions based on our emotional intelligence – and support/justify that decision later with facts, evidence – I want you to trust your deeper instincts – and if your gut says yes, this is the right time and place to begin to turn your ship around towards a deeply meaningful life of genuine vitality, intimacy and prosperity then
Thank you for taking the time to read through this letter.
Sincerely,
Michael/MTK
P.S. One last thing: I am so happy to offer you a 20 minutes FREE consultation to see and understand if this challenge is a good fit and/or I am happy to send you a FREE eBook on Loving unafraid [ Meaningful Relationships ] or Your Best You [ A “Body/Mind/Soul” Self-Care guide ] or Meaningful Work
P.S.S. Regardless of whether or not we ever work together, this is my intention for you:
“Awaken to the mystery of being here and enter the quiet immensity of your own presence.
Have joy and peace in the temple of your senses.
Receive encouragement when new frontiers beckon.
Respond to the call of your gift and the courage to follow its path.
Let the flame of anger free you of all falsity.
May warmth of heart keep your presence aflame.
May anxiety never linger about you.
May your outer dignity mirror an inner dignity of your soul.
Take time to celebrate the quiet miracles that seek no attention.
Be consoled in the secret symmetry of your soul.
May you experience each day as a sacred gift woven around the heart of wonder.”
~ John O’Donohue
Michael Talbot-Kelly
Michael Talbot-Kelly (MTK) takes a holistic approach and blends it with the wisdom of storytelling. His approach spans across psychology, physiology, neuroscience and mindfulness.
CENTRAL VANCOUVER
#101-1529 West 6th Avenue, Vancouver, BC V6J 1R1
Email: [email protected]
Phone: 604-317-1613
© 2007-2018 Michael Talbot-Kelly
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